Connect as a Family
In 2003, the Institute for American Families published a report called Hardwired to Connect. This study was filed by the Commission on Children at Risk – a team of 33 medical doctors, research scientists and mental health and youth services professionals. The group concluded that the rising rate of mental problems and emotional distress among U.S. children and adolescents has been caused by a lack of connectedness in two areas: close connections children have to other people and deep connections children have to moral and spiritual meaning.
These findings substantially affirm the words of Genesis “it is not good for man to be alone” (Gn 2:18) and Catholic Church teachings that we are called to be a Eucharistic People. Clearly, we need God and each other to flourish as human persons.
According to Church teaching, the family is the normal and best place for children to connect. It is the first community that a child will come to know and it is the best place to nurture the child’s God-given nature. This tenet of our faith is upheld by the aforementioned study which confirmed that the most significant attachments children make are with their parents. The second most important are those formed with extended family members and then those forged with those in the broader community. Clearly, family matters more than most of us can imagine.
Connectedness is time dependent. It is not a hit and miss activity. It implies a commitment to be consistently present in the life of the child. This means that as a parent, one has to expend more effort to participate in the life of the child than to provide for the child’s well-being. This may be a shift in thinking for Moms and Dads who are working long, hard hours in an effort to provide what they believe is best for the child. In reality, what is truly best is to give the child more of your presence and time rather than more gifts or scheduled activities.