The final step in the “stair-step” approach to teaching your child about sexuality is teaching about the act of sexual intercourse. In addition to the biological facts about intercourse, there are 3 key points to teach about God’s plan for life and love.

Point #1: The most important Catholic Church teaching about sexual intercourse is that it is a right and good of spouses within marriage. Outside of marriage it is wrong and harmful. Unlike other expressions of love that can be widely shared (hugs, simple kisses, holding hands, tender caresses) sexual intercourse is reserved for a man and a woman who are in a committed and lifelong marriage. Reserving the sexual act for marriage serves to protect its special, unique and profound meaning.

Point #2: Another key Church teaching is that God intends sexual intercourse to be a form of re-creation rather than something commonplace. In His plan, sexual love is meant to rise above all other human experiences because it is profoundly unique. It has the ability to ascend in ecstasy towards the Divine. In order for sexual intercourse to become all that God intends, it has to be exclusive to the spouses, faithful for a lifetime and open to the possibility of new life. In fact, when sexual love between a husband and wife meets all of these obligations it is the sacramental sign of their marriage.

Point #3: The final key teaching is that sexual intercourse has two purposes. The first purpose of sex is to help create and strengthen a bond of love between the spouses. This is called the unitive or love-giving purpose of sex. The second purpose of sex is the creation of new life. This is called the procreative purpose of sex. The Catholic Church teaches that these two purposes must be united in every act of sexual love.

With this understanding of God’s plan for sexual intercourse, you have to discern when is the right time to share the basic information with each of your children. Unfortunately, there is no set time to share this delicate information. That means that you will have to watch for one of three behaviors to know when the time for this information is at hand. The first behavior involves interest in the growing body and how it is changing. The second behavior involves curiosity about how males and females interact. The third behavior is the presence of concern or embarrassment about their changing body. If you notice any of these three behaviors or a combination of them, then it is time to begin talking with your child and assess if they are ready to learn about God’s beautiful plan for human sexuality.

Youth deserve to hear that sexual intercourse has a beautiful meaning. And they deserve to hear this message from you at the right time. They deserve to know that God designed human persons in two genders so that there would be a way for them to physically unite in love with the possibility of creating new life. They deserve a sensitive explanation of sexual intercourse that is framed in morality.  And they deserve to witness your respect for and agreement with God’s plan for love and life.