Participating in the Development of Society

When your children were younger, developing society as a family was directed by the parents. You determined where and how your family would serve others. The impetus for action originated from your passions more than from the hearts of your children. Well, this is about to change. As your children reach this stage, they are going to have their own ideas about how to serve others through volunteerism and social justice. This is not to say that you are going to become a rubber stamp for whatever they want to do. Rather, it means that more discussion and guidance (and perhaps a greater firmness in your discipline) will be needed to steer your child towards socially just behaviors. Consider the following

Monitor the Media

It would be so nice if media outlets were more trustworthy. Reality is, there is a greater need now than ever before to know what is going in the home front with the media. Jay Dunlap, author of Raising Kids in the Media Age, suggests that each parent do the following

• Set Limits –Dunlap is not suggesting ridding your home of all media but rather limiting access as well as the time your child can be using a media form. Whether this is the TV or the internet or the MP3 or the cell phone – set limits.
• Provide other outlets for communication – Your child want to communicate. If you limit their time and access to electronic communications, then you need to find other ways to let them relate. (think family dinners, more friends at your house, bedtime conversations…)
• Become a Media Critic – At some point, your child who is outside your realm of discipline and control, will have to make a decision about media all on her own (ex. She is at a friends house and the R rated movie is about to begin). If you want her to make the right decision, then you have to teach her how to evaluate what she is exposed to. While in your home, hold discussions about what is shown in the media. Listen to what she says and add your wisdom. In other words, use media as a teachable moment.

Dare to Discipline

Yes, this is a title from the best seller by Dr. James Dobson. He hit the nail on the head with this phrase. As parents, we have to be willing to set things right in our homes first if we ever want to fix the social ills of society. How true! Let’s look at ways to set and keep our homes places of right actions.

• Know What Matters – You don’t stand a chance to set your home in order unless you are firmly committed to what is right and good. That means it is important for you to;
  • Continue to study and discern what is right
  • Discuss it with your spouse
  • Commit to a principled in your lifestyle – (that means living as Christ lives)
• Live What Matters – A favorite quote from Mario Cuomo is “I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught me by example in one week. What Mr. Cuomo means is
  • If you want your child moderate her actions, moderate your own
  • If you want your child to be kind, show kindness in your life
  • If you want your child to value others, do so yourself
• Set standards that match what matters – reinforce what you want to see more of.
• Use family discussions to decide what standards are the cornerstones of your family life
• Retain the authority to set the final rules (at this age your child may have amazing integrity but their judgment is still lacking)
• Match the standards to enforceable consequences
• Ask for Outside Help – There may be times when professional help is needed to assist in the discipline of the family. If you need it, seek it.

Network with Families

One of the best ways to impact society is to build alliances with other families whose children are in this age group. There are several ways to do this:

• Become involved in your school association.
• When your children’s friends come to visit, invite the parents to come in and socialize as well.
• Start a monthly book club or another active group with parents
• Gather email addresses of your children’s friends parents (you never know when these will come in handy)

Remember, other families are just as busy as you are. Do not become discouraged if parents are slow to form alliances. Continue to offer and attempt to work with them. All good things take time.